My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is Oprah even human
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
