Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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