so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize