either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
why is half of my head shaved?
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