she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The cops high fived after they tackled you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
