Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you will always have a special place in my vag
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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