I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize