your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
