White coat. Heels.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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