I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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