see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize