I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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