you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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