I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
God I need to hump something, right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Come on in and take your pants off
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