I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We have started to decorate penises.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
