Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
