why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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