some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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