Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
