Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
