If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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