4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to make a zoo with you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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