this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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