i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did I show you my penis last night?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
