Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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