we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
is it fun? or sober?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
