I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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