just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
