bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
