seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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