I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
