I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
