I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
