dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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