It's like God shit irony all over that family
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
