So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
