I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
