Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
