we have officially lost it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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