come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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