not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
