the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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