YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
