He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
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A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
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I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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