Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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