If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
