Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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