Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
