So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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