Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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