Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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