where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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