i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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