Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
