i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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