He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
