plz talk dirty to me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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