how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
