Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
