I just pynch a tree in the face
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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