Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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