Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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