the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
